Grief Counselling Perth
Grief is a natural emotion found in mammals and some animals that is centred on the feelings generated by loss, usually permanent loss, such as death. Grief is a process and the mourning for whatever is the object of our grief that may take days, weeks, months or years to come to completion. Evidence exists that for some, grief may last a lifetime from when the loss is experienced of what triggers the grief.
What Causes Grief
Grief is thought to have its roots in emotional attachment and the positive connectedness that being attached to someone or something brings. When that attachment is severed and lost then a huge emotional trauma may result due to the shock of the loss. The ongoing loss of that special person or object can trigger sadness, tears, emptiness, anger or numbness, any of which can be related to grief.
As the object or person of special attachment cannot generally be replaced then there is no “fix” for the grief. Grieving is a process of expression of the loss and the gradual adjustment to the missed attachment that used to be there, and which now feels empty due to its loss.
When the griever has found meaning and purpose in their attachment to that special object or person, then the grieving may be amplified and prolonged as the grieving person struggles to re-establish meaning and purpose inside of themselves alone, or through attachment to other objects or persons.
What Are the Common Signs of Grief
Grief has many faces and is a natural process, and the common symptoms of grief may be summarised as:
- Denial that the loss occurred
- Temporary rationalisation and acceptance of the loss before collapsing again
- Withdrawal and isolation from social settings
- Bargaining over what happened
- Anger outbursts then tears
- Helplessness about the future
- Sleep loss
- Unable to concentrate
- Loss of appetite and interest in the world
- Wanting to live in the past
- Tears and crying
- Avoidance of grief through addictions, obsessions, workaholism
- Despair and suicidal ideation or fantasy
- Body reactions, aches and illnesses
What Are The Stages Of Grief
Some people appear to get over their grief apparently quickly whereas others may take varying periods of time to adjust and bring their grief to a manageable stage. Some grief may endure but it is believed our attachment style we have with others is partly a factor in how and for how long we grieve others and their loss.
Grief has been classically described by authors such as Kubler-Ross as a linear progressive staged process, but we see it via analogy as a more circular process that is not unlike a needle on a record player, or a laser on a DVD, activating and playing a track (symptom of grief), then stopping or jumping track, but never ceasing playing completely.
The stages of a more linear model of grief are classically seen to be:
- Shock and numbing
- Anger and blame
- Depression and helplessness or overwhelm
- Acceptance and mourning the loss
- Completion and moving on
What Are The Different Type Of Grief
Grief may be separated into different categories and types, and one such classification can be based on the thing being grieved:
- Events or experiences including relationships
- Objects of meaning
- Identity or Meaning such as job or role
What Are The Grief Counselling Techniques We Use
Grief counselling and therapy is designed to help you understand that what is happening to you is grief and that it is a normal part of life that society does not accommodate or understand.
We assist you in uncovering the blocks to grieving you may have due to your emotional defences or attachment styles, and work with you to enact a clean and positive form of grieving that respects your journey and relationship to your loss, and how this can be the start of a renewal and time of growth once you come to relative peace and completion within yourself.
We assist and facilitate what is a normal aspect of your human design rather than “fix” anything as grieving is natural and a normal part of your physical and mental health creation.
How Can Counselling & Psychotherapy Help with Grief
Given society fears death and ageing, and has a stigma around failure, loss, or being vulnerable, grieving is often something that may makes others around you uncomfortable and even judgemental. Energetics Institute offer Perth clients or global clients via skype a safe and compassionate space to discuss, explore and emotionally express grief without judgement or shame. We assist clients in learning about grief and its role in life and how to process grief in a healthy and positive way, dealing with any concerns that the client may have, or resolving issues around being stuck in their grief and unable to move on.
For those Perth clients with a spiritual or religious identity or dimension within themselves, we reflect how to understand and absorb the teachings on death, grief, loss and growth as explained in these great traditions.